December

I have been a bad girl.

It's been over a month since the last blog. Wow. Where does the time go?Pine Top was the end of the competitive season for us although we too some babies to some smaller jumper shows which are always productive.

I am DETERMINED To get a better hold of my life, my office,my PR skills, my Mental and physical well being.It is MY responsibility. Horses go like riders ride them. We make our own messes and effect our own lives for better or worse. Not to say there are circumstances beyond our control that mess things up for us.I am trying to get control of those messes and outside influences the same way I needed to clean up my house.I have lots of toys to put away.I'm going to try and get a lot done....

The best way for me to start the clean up was to take some time away from the horses. Though I still rode and taught and judged and hunted during the month of December, I made a list of projects I wanted to complete during the month before January hits me in the face like a cold North wind.

On my list was the creation of a calender of photos to give to friends and supporters from Paradise Farm. I have to Thank Nikki Livermore and Mark Lehner for allowing me to use their wonderful pictures.This was a HUGE project for me as I have never downloaded or uploaded anything in my life before. It took me all day to do it. I would run out to the stable to check on Barby and Antonio who basically ran everything for me. I'd shake and stammer and say,,just five more hours..I'm almost there!One day I'll have a grip on this stuff. Ugh!Thank God for Pandora radio.I can go to bunny land, or to Ireland with Enya to dance with the fairies, or to Rock and Roll land with Stevie Ray Vaughn.I have new speakers on my computer that can send me to the moon. Often I just lay on the floor and listen to music.This is a whole new world for me.Free transport to anywhere for as long as I wanted.MY office has been transformed from a torture chamber full of dread and complete panic to a productive place. HUGE for me. HUGE. This will help with my PR skills.

I also did a little Christmas letter,that I should have sent to everyone,Christmas cards and had a great time taking the time to do it all.Almost normal behaviour. Am I getting closer to reality?

Another project was painting the dining room.Which turned into the dining room ,living room ,all the downstairs trim, bead board in the kitchen and other renovations.I had never painted inside before. My friend Terese Scott gve me painting lessons and support for last years Christmas present and we HAD to use it up befor this years Christmas!Choosing the color took me three years! The drama of being such a grown up and making such a monumental decision was more than most could bear as It took me FOREVEVER with Multiple panic attacks and indecision.....Finally, I chose a salmony color that goes very well with the rest of the room. The room now transports me to a place of great satisfaction.

Then the living room happened all by myself. It took about 4 nights to do.This room is Impressive Ivory! How grown up!I was possessed. I stayed up till 2 am every night painting with Pandora blaring through the house. It was pure magic.I cleaned every corner of every floor board and felt great. The colors talk to me. They took me to great places ,far away from, the many broken toys and bad places that have been plaging me recently.

The house renovations culminated in a wonderful,magical Christmas eve dinner with friends that was upraoriously funny at times. It was a proper dinner party. A huge celebration of Christmas for me.This house is very special to me as is the farm.It has taken a long long time to get these things done.

Another magical moment was the Christmas angel that came and helped me with the sale of a wonderful horse that came to me out of the blue.Not only did the buyer find Nirvana with this beautiful horse but I nearly feel to my knees with relief. This sale came straight from heaven. Pickles,Sydney,Oliver,Jaques,Waylon ,Bunny Cat,Pierre. and Clifford all got together and made this happen I am sure.It was my Christmas to be able to get back on my feet from the overwhelming stresses of the farm.I do believe in miracles.I lost faith a lot this year.But it is back now.

I also managed to accomplish my annual once a year Godfather fest. Almost 8 hours of my boys taking care of business.Micheal Corleone is the man......

Soon it will be back to business full swing. Thank you God for December. It has been more than I could have asked for.

Christmas shopping took me to the book store,where I found lots of stuff to keep me from evil.The books are like soldiers in my house. They protect me from myself. And they protect all of you out there too. If the books can't do it ,then there's always the Corleone family!

Happy New year to you all.Great luck to every one.Kick on.