Thursday, March 8, 2012

Roller Coaster Number Number Nine

There is no reason to pick the number nine. it really probably should be 666 but let's not go there in the first sentence shall we?

The past few weeks have been very up and down.Smashing face down into the ground is just beginning to really sink in and it's been a wild ride.The initial hospital visit is always just a numb blur really.You hear things,you hop fully are lucky enough to feel things ,but you don't really have to think about them at that time because your in such a mess that reality doesn't really matter.

I knew my farm and the horses and dogs were safe and in the best of hands and I knew my event was going to be as great as ever ,because of the HUGE numbers of people that TOOK CARE OF EVERYTHING!!!!Every detail of my normal daily life was taken care of for me.I was in relatively no pain. My hands were a concern as they were very very sharp but with each passing hour I KNEW the pain was going to go away and my hands were going to work again.

I have been hurt a lot and I KNEW first I was going to be SERIOUSLY HURT and I was.I knew this before I hit the ground.I knew lying there in the sand this was a big one. But I also knew I was going to be alright with some time.

My Mother was the best nurse in the world and although this fall looks like it's definitely going to change my riding career I wouldn't have missed those three weeks with my mother for anything in the world.I have never felt safer or more loved by anyone in my life.

Sadly now I have moved back to my farm(I think I call it Paradise)(Though right now i can't find the beautiful flamingos or anything beautiful)

The event went well. I saw lots of my friends that gasped and said I looked better than they had thought I would.Ha Ha you should have seen the first day.The event was smooth. I stood around and did nothing but make my bumpy lip smile.We were really happy with the new sunken road addition to the cross country course. Something I have waited for 5 years for,because of money.

Doing the books after the event was more painful than falling off the horse.Rather than feeling that safe numbness I mentioned before,this felt like I had landed on an open bag of scalpels blades up.Oh my God ,What now? How am I going to make it now?What am I going to do?It wasn't even the end of February and all I could see was shear black and doom.

We wee over 100 entries short this year. It was the first year we had no waiting list. I left the event at the three day format because we have been turning so many horses that wanted to come to the event.I did not see this coming and no one said anything about not liking this format before. IN fact everyone last year said they loved the three days so I left it that way. BIG mistake.

My fall event has been a basic nightmare for years as people have every reason in the world for not coming but my spring event has always made me so proud and I felt it was so worthwhile and people really liked it.I am so honored that Phillip Dutton said you won't find a nicer preliminary course anywhere but tell that to my banker.

I tell you honestly I am flat scared of the future. After the event Barbie,Antonio and several loyal friends RACE around pulling up staked jumps and REPLAN 5 mini cross country courses for the jumping derby the following day.That is a HUGE HUGE job. WE move an entire show jumping course out to the back field to give people a chance to school showjumping and cross country.This about our 5th year. we have had horses from 8 am till 5pm before. From Tadpole to Intermediate.This year we had 20 rides.

That evening the stars did not shine.I think all of us were so defeated and destroyed we dared not speak.

Thank God people have been coming a lot to school the cross country course. Enough for me to be able to put the ground back together again.

Since my injury I have lost many clients.Fortunately my die hards are starting to come back.

This morning I taught 6 lessons and I caught myself singing to my dogs and feeling normal. Normal for me is damn good. I travel at the speed of light and usually have a lot of energy and desire to go on.

The preceding days have been very black indeed.

I have not been able to see the forest through the trees. I have been given the greenish light from the DR. You can ride,just don't fall off.What does that mean?

This farm is a great place. It is great for the horses and it is a great place to learn.So Look out world I'm on the lookout for the best GD marketing person out there that will drive you all here in droves to have the best lessons of your lives.You won't regret it.I may not be able to compete at the top anymore but I did it for a LONG time on LOT's of different horses. I CAN TEACH! I don't think people even know that I teach.I may not cram it down your throat but I hope someone else out there will help me. I can get you to where you need to be.Whatever and where ever. Great horse or donkey. PLease come on. Help me sing to my dogs and keep this great farm going.