Where is the time?

I used to be able to write almost weekly,now it seems to be a monthly occurrance. I apologize for that.Thank you to all that have been so complimentary about this blog.It is always fun hearing from you.

So Southern Pines turned out to be a dissappointment for me ,mostly because I rode SO badly in the show jumping. I seem to be getting consumed with all that bad stuff again. i was gone for awhile but.....I know it will go away again.

The AEC's were next. WE had great times. I think I was second to last to go in the OI champs. Peter is a definate afternoon boy. I was pleased with his dressage. It's coming. Another year and I think we might be OK.A couple of small blips but his attitude was good and he was very workmanlike.Cross country was a perfect ride. He never ever picked up the bridle one time. My intention was just to jump around and have a very settled ride and he made the time easily bringing us to show Jumping in 7th place.My nerves got the better of me again although I have to say these current nerves are not so much riding nerves but other demonic possesions that are taking me away from riding a clear round.That being said I had three rails and finished 13th.Watching the video I know what I have to do to fix the riding which is good,but the other stuff is a little harder.

Poplar PLace CiC 2 * was next. Again I was pleased with Peters dressage. He's going to be the real deal in time and I have to be patient.Cross country I had a stop by overchecking to the water ,trying to prevent (in my mind) over jumping a brush to a one stride. Of course I kicked myself as I shouldhave left Peter alone and LET HIM JUMP!!!! DUH!Peter is a definate goer and very good with his feet. I have to say it was a REAL error on my part and I paid the price. Other than that he pinged around and the big A is not far away as far as dressage or cross country goes. ON THE OTHER HAND, Lellie will not be going anywhere fast until a few things at home get settled so I can show jump better.

I chose to show jump in a hackamore. WE had practiced in it and were very happy with it.Peter got progressively stronger during the duration of the course. I actually dropped my right rein after the triple and Peter took off and ran away with me for a good ten minutes. Flat out.It was a clasic run away. Not at all funny. I was completely helples and he ran as fast as he could without the slightest fatigue. It was very unsafe and I was not a happy camper but knew from my racing days eventually it would have to end so I sat chilly but terrified everyone watching. I apologize for that as it was truely scary.

I was very upset but again more with non riding issues than Peter and went home with my tail between my legs.So we have decided not to run the two star CCI as planned and step back a little till other things can settle down.I will never put the horses at risk and I need to get a few things sorted to ride better in the future.Al;ways something!!!

So I am now officially done with eventing for a while and going back to show Jumping again for some more education.

Not the way I wanted it to go but the horses cme first. WE have since Jumped Peter at home with the help of a good friend and all is very well. So stay tuned we'll beback.!

Work In Progress

How things change. Two years ago,I had the amazing luxury of riding three strapping young thoroughbred horses around events every other week.And they were rarely out of the money. It was a great feeling of success and accomplishment that gave me great strength and the fortitude to fulfill all the challenges this sport requires.

It takes tremendous willpower not to equate ones self worth as a human being with how one ends up on the weekend.I am currently down to one eventer,Peter Pan.Ninety Nine percent of this darn game is confidence. I am currently standing on about 10% in my ability.

Show Jumping once again seems to be eating me alive. Even though I had a great summers jumping at proper shows with Peter and Zidaan.For some reason my last event brought me to my kneees with a charming 5 rails down. And this week ,,,well I'll start at the beginning.

Peter is entering into the power stage of his career and it is not an easy one.I always tell everyone riding well is an illusion.(Except if you watched the top 5 at Burghley this week!OMG do they ever miss?)(Another blog entirely)

I was very pleased with my dressage warm up and test this week only to be hammered by the judge.Hurrumph!Grump Grump.

The cross country looked great,although I said to Barbie at a small ditch /bounce combination...."I hope they read this....This ditch is not much to look at." Peter pinged around inside his minute markers easily until,splat ...that darn little ditch.He Left both his hind legs in it and I pulled out quickly to avoid hitting the skinny out. There was no room to do anything except pop back out over that ditch the wrong way and represent to the combination. Well
he saw it that time and off we went. He finished the course with 20 jumping and 20 time as there was no point in running his legs off at that point.I was not happy.

Most importantly I had to make sure he was OK. He had some pretty good scrapes on the inside of his hind legs. I felt I had let him down in my presentation.

Show Jumping on Sunday I had another disappointing 4 down and felt I rode really badly.UGH. WE forgot the camera. My only source of info.

So It was a long ride home. I miss Pickles. I miss River Dance and Harry too.I need to clean up my game. AGAIN!

Upon arrival at Paradise,the grass is long and untidy. It looks overrun. Ugh. We are killing ourselves to keep it all going.Doom and Gloom.

We leave again in two days for The AEC's.Hopefully things will go better there.I can't stay in a slump for too long.I look at Peter and I see great things. I feel it.Just not this week.Karen O'Conner's groom Max told me to go to the movies and forget about it.Good advice.

So we'll be washing,mowing ,jumping and teaching again till we leave and see what happens the next time... Stay tuned...I am going to keep telling myself it's going to get better and remind myself how lucky I am to be this miserable at times.. Horses are great levelers!

Any of you guys ever feel this way?

Bare Bones Farm

Last weekend Jack and I zoomed our way down to Shorter, Alabama to judge a dressage and show jumping on the Saturday and teach a clinic on Sunday at Lorna,Duffy and Erika Aho's FANTASTIC Bare Bones Farm.

It is a PERFECT venue with great footing,similar to Paradise.Duffy has built super jumps. WE had tons of ideas for new banks and the future cross country course. Lorna has her sights on stabling and ALL SORTS of stuff in the future.

Lorna and I have been great pals for over twenty years. WE have blasted through England together,bought out Badminton,and traveled extensively together while eventing in the past.She has a n excellent eye and was bread to event. Her auntie is Dame Maxwell of famed Badminton dressage commentary'.

Lorna knows her stuff.She put on this show with aplomb,managing all the secretarial stuff as well as the layout etc. Duffy does GREAT FOOD and all the mowing and all the other STUFF.Erika rides around like a mini Lorna. Look out world ,she comin' on strong, getting the BEST experience on millions of hairy ponies.(the best kind!)

The dressage classes were great. Lorna brilliantly left enough time for me to pop out after every test and elaborate on the goods ,bads, and how to get betters.A great group of people and nice caliber of horses too! Great Fun for me. I LOVE travelling around seeing all these different places and people enjoying their horses.A few brave dressage riders even opted to have a chance flat lesson the next day. They were GREAT!(And very very brave....)

The Show jumping was fun. Courses were challenging enough. There was a fault and out class,Power and Speed and jump off rounds . Lorna also had a super derby class that had a few extra questions(bonus fences and skinnies). She plans to have lights up so evening classes can be a great addition. Her Show Jumping is in a natural amphitheater type setting, so there is ample room for all sorts of banks and terrain questions.There is a super flat place for a Hunter Ring ,that can double for a large dressage arena. She already has one super large arena now.

The clinic was well attended. Everyone worked very hard on my usual themes. Safety,Balance ,Control,Confidence and FUN!Gatorade was the word of the day.I had them jumping over the ice chest so they could only drink if they went clear!(Just kidding)

It is always an honor and a pleasure to be invited to Judge and then teach. It is as much fun for me as for the people.It is very inspiring to be able to give back to the sport.

So stay tuned for news of this great venue. I have ridden all over the world and I can recommend this place!

Thank you Lorna,Duffy and Erika! Thank you to all that came to support Bare Bones Farm and me.

Gearing Back Up

It's amazing how things change.I haven't ridden in an advanced competition in almost 6 years. After having brought 10 horses from scratch to advanced,I hope I am still on the track for number eleven. Peter Pan is my only eventer at the moment. Next Dance will soon be jumping in the Show Hunter ring as he we think he will excel at that discipline. Zidaan,my new jumping machine is too great a teacher for me to mix up his expertise with eventing.That leaves Peter until I can come up with more horses.

Times have changed for us all for sure. I used to have more students and clients and horses than I could possibly manage.Now that I have tons of experience and a complete facility to train horses for any discipline ,things are painfully slow.

I have a great group of new people coming for lessons but as I look around this incredible farm ,I really have to wonder what happened?Paradise Farm is an amazing facility only lacking an indoor school and an aqua tread. I am blessed to have what is here but I wonder where the people are? It seems to be an active rider or known these days at all one has to be a marketing expert rather than a true horseman.

I often hear from people,Oh I didn't know you taught lessons or rode other peoples horses. I thought you just rode for yourself.(REALLY?)Advertising hasn't seemed to do much good. It is costly and well worth it if there is a return ,but not so worth it if there isn't.

I hear from some people they think I am too tough. Riding is tough. Getting hurt is tough.Competing is tough.A horse spooking and bruising your foot or leg is tough.Trying to prepare people for the REALITY horses may bring is a tough game and there is no room for sugar coating.Losing weight is tough. There is no easy way. Saving money is tough.But the sacrifices, hardships,excercise and practice pays off. Those people that come here and take a few lessons quickly see results and few leave dissatisfied.They may be very tired but they are smiling and satisfied with their investment both physical and financial.

Peter is gearing up for a fall season of Intermediate.After falling off at Jersey Fresh I feel I need to do my homework and clean up my act.I am looking forward to a preliminary run this week at River Glen,then shall be making my way to several events in area III.We are still not sure about fair Hill or Chattahoochie for our fall 2*.

Barbie and I decided not to travel as much this fall and stay closer to home in my efforts to clean up.Money is also a major factor.I would not be going anywhere without the aid of the American Horse Trials Foundation.I have been a member since the 1990's. That foundation kept me riding throughout England and Europe and is still helping me today.Many thanks to all of you that have helped me keep my dream of riding going.

I do not have my eye set on making the team as much as I once did,as I know it is not realistic at the moment,primarily because of money.Having this big farm is a huge undertaking.Paying employees and farm maintenance takes away from the endless road trips of the past. But it does not mean I am not out there still going.

Peter shows signs of making it a lot further in his career.Zidaan is going to do wonders for my career.And I am hoping Harry will have a new career that he loves. Riverdance is being brought out of retirement so I can have another horse to jump big on again.If I only knew then,what I know now.

In watching a Burghley video,Kai Ruder from Germany said he rode Burghley as a young boy then it took him 20 years to get back.An inspiring message to us all. Horses take time.Practice Practice. Barbie wants me to go on and get going. I feel I am going to be conservative with Peter so I do not blow it.Peter is only 8 and there is no rush.

So hopefully this will inspire someone out there to hang on and keep going too.Horses are an addiction. No doubt I am hooked.It's worth it in the end.We're gearing back up for the fall. Let's hope good things are out there for all. Kick on.

Summer Time News

The summer is flying by.

It's been very hot here in Aiken but we have been busy as usual.Fortunately we are getting enough rain to keep the farm in grass(which means more mowing) but it's worth the time and effort. Eleanor, my super tractor has been very well behaved this summer. I am proud of her performance.Let's hope she can make it through another mowing season.Eleanor is named after a Mustang Shelby featured in a great film entitled Gone in Sixty Seconds.Nicholas Cage always steals her and she breaks down at the most inopportune times."Not now Eleanor"I know the feeling.

The horses are in full work. Peter has been show jumping with Zidaan. We just finished another two week run up at Tryon again. I am having such a great time with all that I am learning. Peter is harder to be consistent on than Zidaan as they have such different backgrounds.But my percentages of double clears are getting higher at every show.This last time Zidaan was Champion at the Meter Twenties.I even won enough money to pay for all my fuel!Ha!

Horse Showing and lots of lessons are expensive business. Fortunately I have been able to teach lots of people this summer. Everyone has been so dedicated. We start around Six AM most days. I have to ride pretty steadily up to about 2.30 when I take off to go to Kenny my workout man.By 2.30 it's pretty hot for the horses so a good time to head to town.Evenings are generally spent riding more horses,teaching and or mowing.

Harry is gearing up for some time in the Hunter ring.I think he will like that and be very good at it. I am hoping he will jump in some of the bigger Derbies soon.It's been challenging changing jobs and jumping formats with all these horses.He let my 11 year old God daughter ride him in a walk trot class at a horse show last week. Cutest thing I ever saw. Then I rode him and he was local hunter champion. Go Harry!I find riding the hunters VERY VERY challenging even at three feet!

Peter will be my only eventer for a while. Zidaan is going to stay in the Show Jumping as he is so great at it and I feel it's really helping me ride better.Harry is such a beautiful Jumper I felt it unfair to hammer him around the events.Peter eats it up and I am aiming him for Fair Hill Two Star in October.

We have several interesting horses here in training ,and have been blessed with a few sales.This is what keeps the ball rolling.

It's been a fantastic summer. Lot's of really enthusiastic people all wanting to ride better.That's what it's all about.I love travelling with the horses. It has really helped put a lot of last years demons away.

While I am sad to have the memories of all the troubles of the last few years,new doors are definately opening up.I am extremely grateful for that.I needed some new doors.

The clinics have been well received, which enable me to take so many lessons.Finding good teachers is a rarity for sure.I have a few great ones right now at last.A huge relief to be with people that make a serious effort in changing for the positive rather than posing as instructors and saying little or nothing, riding a wave of a big name.

It's very interesting in the teaching game. I like to be corrected over and over again.Often,I can be frustrated at the mistakes that I make ,but teachers that let you make the same mistake over and over again are just as much to blame. There are few that have the fortitude to really correct you. To stop you dead and correct you.I like that. Yet people are often put off by that.They prefer to be told how well they are doing.Compliments and congratulations are well deserved and should be noted,but lessons are about progress and hard work.I am grateful for the honesty of the teachers I now have.

You have to like to teach. You have to want to see the person and horse get better.You have to take a lot of time. You have to give the person confidence. You also have to be smart enough to take them down when needed ,to make things easier,to achieve flow before going up to harder things.

It's so rewarding to help people with their horses.Thank God people are out there and want to ride.Lot's of people from all over are coming back to the farm again.Today a great family rode all over the cross country together galloping and jumping. That's what it's all about.I look forward to this years Hunter trial the first Saturday in October. I think we will have lots of children come this year,though sadly few will be from Aiken.I hope they will come one day and overcome all the scary stories they have been told about Paradise Farm. It is their loss that they do not come as this is truely a great place.Local gossip still makes me sick to my stomach but THANKGOD at last I am back on the road and doing what I am good at and away from the local level of indecency.

Tryon Week Two

After three days of showing Barbie and I packed up Jack (my super truck) and "The Palace"(my trailer) and zipped on back to Aiken. It two days to do all the laundry,clean the trailer,rotate the tires wash the trailer and repack and we were back on the road to Tryon again for week two of serious training.

This time we were loaded with Beautiful Harry.Harry has been on the back burner since my pathetic show jumping crash at Pine Top in February. I seriously regret taking my eyes off that jump and looking away for a split second. The results of that mistake I am now really having to pay for.Slowly but surely we have made it back to the show ring.Harry is the most beautiful boy and we must allow him the time he needs to tell us what he wants to do.

As I am so focused on trying to ride better and be quieter I chose to let someone else ride Harry for me.I have never done that before.It was very helpful to see the horse from the ground and be able to detatch.It was not until the third day that we saw our boy come back into himself.Though he placed in two classes(again we only want steady clears no time)I was glad to be able to see the progress made.Clayton is a star on horses and rode Harry like a champ.

Peter,Zidane and I slogged it back in the jumper ring moving up all the way round. Peter won his first class again and we were flabergasted!I actually am starting to feel the magic back up I have missed for so long. I do not smoke but.....OOOOOOOOOOooooohhhh made me feel like I needed a cigarette if you know what I mean.Could I actually be getting a grip on this stuff?

Zidane was his usual delicious self.I am going to spend some more time getting him more broke on the flat now.Vick rode him for me in two classes. What fun to see him jump.Zidane is easier for me to ride than Peter as he is a different type. But what a luxury to have the chance to ride two beautiful boys!

I simply had the best time up there with The Russell family. Talk about great team spirit.Everyone roots and cheers for everyone else and the operation runs like a well oiled machine.It was hot in the afternoons,and some might say it's boring waiting for the classes etc. Not me. There was no time to be bored. Once I got done with my baby classes,the big boys jumped all afternoon and I was glued to the rail. Watching Vick and his team jump and jump and jump ALL DAY!!! was enough for me.

Nights were great fun too. Several really nice parties with great fun people.I am fully enamoured with the dark side.I have some really great memories from this show. My best birthday present was watching Vick ride Zidane,and sitting in the wicker chair during a thunderstorm laughing,listening to the summer rain,late at night. And watching the rains clear for himself to drive away in Whitey the MG without a drop on him...Almost as good as the back up feeling.....

We are back home now gearing up for another Better riding clinic. They have been well attended. We start early and are done before it's really hot and people have been great about following up with their lessons as that's what it's all about.I
can't wait to jump River,Norman,Pumpkin,Gunther all week. My goal is to jump EVERY EVERY DAY FOREVER!

But we will get back to dressage and cross country too.

Paradise is hoppin'. We are ready for another round of mowing and jump painting. Even getting geared up for the fall event already. Where does the time go.

I hope everyone out there is having a good summer too.Thanks to everyone for their support. Riding is just too much fun right now.

Then and Now

I do not seem to write much anymore.I sure think a lot and wish I had the time to write.

My Last blog was about Jersey Fresh.I was very excited to go and was ready to do the job. But I fell off. My memories of the event are not good. I like the facility very much. Though I thought the ground could have had more attention,I thought the Cross country was terrific and I was sad not to have been able to complete the course.The worst part for me was asking for advice from someone I thought would be helpful and constructive and I was dumbfounded by the response. I was told I wasn't committed enough to the sport. That I should make a decision to be more committed to the sport or more committed to the farm cause if I did not make more of a commitment to the sport I would just fall off every time I rode.

It was a very long twelve hours back from New Jersey and I wanted to just give up when I got home.The event was a bust. Though I was happy Peter was safe and sound.How could someone say that to me?WOW. And this person is an experienced rider. Well there was a lot of internal confusion for a while. I talked about it with a few people and got a myriad of opinions.Thank God for the opinion of one of the officials that saw my fall and I decided not to shoot myself after all and go on.

So,screw those words in NJ. Paradise Farm is so beautiful. All my flowers are in great bloom this year. The berries are popping out everywhere. The honey suckle smells heavenly.One of the days highlights are feeding our huge catfish.I may have fallen off but I am still a person and have worked damn hard for what's here.

I am not happy about the way some eventers are thinking and where they are going at the moment.As much as I would have loved to have won in New Jersey and be on the cover of eventing media,,,hey,,I am winning my own event.That event may not win any gold medals or gain me huge sponsorship,but there are other dividends.

That was then and this is now.I just came back from a Hunter Jumper show up in Tryon,North Carolina.Barbie and I went up there with Zidane and Peter Pan to learn how to jump better.It was my first show with Zidane.He has only been over from Holland a little over a month.

I had a fantastic experience. I cannot wait to go back.Instead of thinking of giving up ,I am encouraged.I had three days of excellent instruction.I had a teacher. I had a coach.I had every step and jump analyzed. I made mistakes and was reprimanded a few times,but on the third day ,I got real close to a few compliments.I was spoon fed. I needed it. And I want it. YES AT MY LEVEL!!!!!! Who the HELL wouldn't. That's what we want is support.When it's bad...OK Deal. Get better get over it. Work hard..Not committed? You must be joking ,blind,threatened, or jealous.

I saw a master at work this week.I saw a man ride 30 rides a day with amazing grace and style. A HUGELY popular man with class and style that I did not see in New Jersey I promise you.He rode all day,had horses and people coming out his ears.He gave everyone his time.He is a pro.I am so grateful to have had this opportunity to have had this time.

Peter was great. He was champion in the meter ten division,winning two classes.He was second in the meter fifteen. Zidane is like jumping into a swimming pool full of whip cream. He is so soft over the jumps.I didn't win at Jersey fresh but I won when I found Peter Pan in that field in Florida three years ago. And to have gone to Holland and connected with Zidane is a miracle.Zidane placed in most of his classes but I was there to learn not win. The ribbons didn't matter. I did not go for time at all. Just the steady clears.I am not ready for time yet.My goal is to own it at meter thirties one day....(If you had seen how nervous I was at the meter classes!)

Learning how to ride better is enough.I am not ready to win yet. I still have to learn how to ride.I'm going to try and keep my hand off the brake and just learn to use the gas better.

I have to Thank everyone up there this week for such a great time. Thanks to Barbie for all her hard work,Antonio for managing Paradise.And to the world's greatest for helping me buy Zidane.What an honor to have one like him to learn on.Thats another story.........And to my new inspiration.