Sinking Ship

Once again,as an organizer I feel like the captain of a ship that is going down.One by one my passengers are all dying horrible ,painful deaths. The screaming is deafening.As the Fall horse trials draws nearer and nearer I only want to pull the plug and run away as fast as I can with a large syringe of euthanasia fluid close to my arm and stop the bleeding.

This is a feeling I have every year at this time before the fall horse trials. A sucessful competition from an organizers point of view is one that is safe,Fun and breaks even.The weeks and weeks of preparation that go into pulling a farm together for a competition are mind blowing.

As usual there are no entries. Extending the closing date in my opinion is a double edged sword that only extends the lengthy painful death of a competition.How much longer I can endure this nightmare I am not sure. It is not fun and very nonproductive. Worrying about producing a special event is my specialty. Lowering standards and producing something less than that is not something I am remotely interested in.

How sad not to use this great piece of land for our sport. There are few better pieces of land around. I defy anyone to produce better ground.Yet that does not seem to be important to the riders.

I know it is hot. I know about the economy. I understand all those things.They are truely making a believer out of me that this is a losing battle.

Not to mention,the complications with the system employed at the USEA for officials,mainly course designers.I have to admit I felt my friend Julie Zappapas was on the edge with her public outcry this spring but now I agree 100% with her comments about the system.She is spot on.

Sadly our sport is most definately changing.I am not sure I want to invest in more swimming lessons.Running seems to be the name of the game.

What is the point of this blog?Not sure except ,people seem to enjoy the frankness of these stories. I wish I was writing about great fun things.Running the farm is not fun right now.

I will say that last week I had a magic time with 4-5 riders riding out on the hills at Paradise jumping cross country. I was never happier or prouder of the efforts that they made,practicing in the cool rain. It was the very reason I hang onto this crazy dream I had with this place.For two magical hours I did not feel the rope around my neck or the sharks at my feet.I am endebted to those people for the happiness they provided me,which is why I teach and maintain this farm.

I do not know how other people do it. I am trying as hard as I can to stay afloat. But I tell you the water is getting VERY high and its dark and cold.