Wednesday, October 13, 2010

A Short But Very Important Blog

There is a lot going on around Paradise farm as Usual. I am so very very relieved to have been given the HUGE honor of riding some really nice new horses for people. I am very grateful that people seem to be creeping back to the farm for lessons and I am able to make the weekly payroll without feeling the need to sell plasma or my beautiful truck to pay the bills.I will be able to have the support of Antonio the Great and the famous Barbie Doll for one more week.

The Hunter Trials was a sucessful and happy day.Despite all the efforts of some of Aiken's finest, My friends continue to come out and support the farm no matter what.We are very happy to put those non humans behind us.

Last night I was working at pullng the upcoming horse trials together with my right arm , Karen Kelly . She has been through every minute of The Paradise Farm Horse Trials since the beginning.My new puppy, Brumby ran away and was GONE.He wears a small bell on his collar so I can hear him when he rambles. The silence last night was deafening.He was gone. Only four months old and the cutest form of happiness on the farm,I could not believe that I had lost him.

The Horse Trials is hairy to say the least as we are a week out ,and only getting a few entries now.Listening to millions of reasons why people can't come is very taxing and brings one way down for days on end.Wanting to pull off a nice competition but without entries ,I'd rather just pull the covers over my head....or go drive a truck.And then my puppy runs away. Is he dead? Is he Stolen? How much more bad luck do I have to endure?Why is this happening?

I ran around the farm until 2.30 am, cursing God ,telling him I would punch him in the nose if I ever met him.I yelled out loud in the darkness ,that I thought he was very unfair and that I thought I'd had enough for one year and he should go pick on someone else.I said every bad thing to God that I wanted to say to a few of Aiken's finest, that I have yet to have the pleasure of seeing...

About 2.30 am I heard the bell. Of course I cried and hugged the poor puppy to death,then told him I wanted to spank him for torturing me.He licked my face and wagged his nub and said yea yea where's the bones?

Today......I saw the first of the 31 miners pulled from a hole in the ground after weeks of torture down under. The look on the miners sons face brought me back to reality.All of a sudden, I wiped more tears from my face(again) and I realized how great life is.That little boy 's face said it all. That little boy said the same thing Pickles said to me in April. I had forgotten.I owe Pickles a huge apology.I must go back to Pickles who is so important to me.Pickles, my dead horse, and a little boy that didn't speak a word, said more to me than anyone else ever could. "remember what is real.Remember what is important."

Four people came to my house tonight to help me with next years hunter trials and this years next event. These people were terrific.They were there to help. They were there to support and create good positive energy.And we are going to take that energy and help one of our friends that needs our help. And that's what it's all about.The bad stuff I have been feeling can be put back in the garbage can where the stinking rotting filth of something I once thought was important can fester without anymore thought from me.So be gone all of you that think you are anything ,for you are nothing.Life is far to grand to even allow you one more minute.You will all get yours.

You are the sorry ones. I will stay with Pickles, my puppy, the South American Boy and his family and my real friends.And my Farm. Paradise Farm. Be gone all you Toads... May you Rot in your own Hell that you create for yourselves.Ribot Ribot...... Dramatic you may say?.......No, Just very honest.


sweetpea said...

Thank you for your commitment to run the HT despite low entries. You should know that YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE - YOU ARE NEEDED - YOU ARE APPRECIATED - EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW IT. 2 years ago I was paralyzed with fear after a fall that broke my wrist with a newborn baby at home. EVERYONE around me wanted me to give up my foolish, selfish, dangerous hobby and be a good mommy. But I LOVE this and I didn't want to give up - but maybe they were right - and maybe life just passed me by in too many ways to count. I was too old and too poor to do this. I came to you and YOU worked with me to overcome my fear. YOU were empathetic. YOU pushed me. You showed genuine interest in my progress. Unfortunately despite your work with me bad luck continued to put set back after set back in front of me keeping me out of the saddle, causing further financial hardship, more doubt and more ammunition for the folks that insisted I needed to give up my foolish, dangerous, selfish hobby. My dear sweet husband stands by me as I continue to keep my hand in the cookie jar. As of June I have a new (old) horse that is a good fit for me. We've entered the BN division of your HT. It's probably too soon but I thought it was appropriate that PARADISE be my first HT - it's really because of you that I'm still in it. I hope the HT is a great success for you. Despite the outcome for us it's a great accomplishment to even try. My XC run is dedicated to you. I hope we do you proud. THANK YOU-CP

Lellie said...

Thank you CP. People like you make it worthwhile. Paradise is a place for learning and Fun. Kick ON!

LC-B said...

Lell, you may have just made it over the highest, widest, yet deepest jump you've ever faced...coming face to face with the emotional demons that have been stalking you thanks to life's unfairness (as well as the blatant, purposeful hatefulness by some who are clearly jealous of your talent) is so damn difficult. At the same time, you're the only one who can do it - your good friends are going to be right here with you every step of the way. The very same way you convince us we really can go down that hill on our horses straight...there's no other way to do it safely. I so admire you, Lell...and Sunday I'm bringing a cowbell to hang on Brummer's collar! xoxoxo Lynda

Lellie said...

Thank you Lynda and everyone that has helped with everything from the horse trials to the American Horse Trials Foundation,to watching the dogs!This farm couldn't do any of it without all of you. Lellie

Lellie said...

Thank you Lynda and everyone that has helped with everything from the horse trials to the American Horse Trials Foundation,to watching the dogs!This farm couldn't do any of it without all of you. Lellie