I don't know who I write these things for more.Me,to tell myself to shut up and get on with it or for anyone else out there that might find themselves in similar situations or experience similar feelings.
I wish I was blogging on about my great spring season with the devils.Riverdance should have debuted at PSG in dressage by now and the devils should have had at least 3 prelim runs under their belts.I should be one run away from a one star with three wonderful horses.I should be 30 pounds thinner,much richer,calmer and happy with all that I have instead of tearing myself up with the dramatizing what everyone else is doing.
As the daffodils have come and gone, the grass turns greener, tulips and dogwoods start popping out , it is getting very close to the big "R" and the big" B".I have lived so many many years of my life with Rolex and Badminton in my sights in springtime I am getting itchier and itchier as I sit day by day in the golfcart with my leg still in pieces.Hearing the results from all the spring events drives me crazy.I feel further and further away from qualifying for anything and sometimes I feel so lost.I warn you eventers out there.Do not do what I often do.Do not equate your own self worth as a person with whether or not you are competing.BE CAREFUL!Do not let a rail,or a stop,or a silly mistake take you to the depths of where I often send myself.
I do take great pleasure in watching my horses get ridden by others.And I am so very very very lucky to be able to teach so many wonderful people.I have to SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY remind myself of what a great luxury it is to be alive and have the chance to spend all day watching horses.I must be patient and I know I will be back in the saddle again. I have to fight the meltdowns , the MYRIAD of doubts and tantrums with a vengence.I have to fight of the keeping up with the Jones syndrome.
Sitting in the sand arena,watching all the rigs go up and down the road all day,shuffling to schooling sessions ,lessons,training and events makes me itchy.I try to stay busy.Again ,thankyou to everyone for coming and riding at the farm.Teaching really helps take away the bad stuff.I know how much my lessons mean to me and being able to give back to others means a great deal.
I have a new teacher in my life that is helping work on my own fitness.And this is really helping me.I do not know how not to be in training for something.Working on my own fitness and balance is something I wish I had alotted more time for and I fully intend on maintaining this even when I get back to riding full time.I really enjoy learning and boy oh boy I am learning a lot.This is where I improve my attitude.Now I have something ELSE to GRUNT about!
I cannot wait to get back to riding.I am probaly looking at another 3-4 weeks.My current goal is to be walking by Rolex.This years competition should be amazing.A stellar field for sure.Fingers crossed for everyone entered.These last few weeks are very exciting.(Understatement)
I cannot wait to get back to where I was.I know I will feel very differently once I can get back to my routine,the saddle and the devils.
Stay tuned! Grunt Grunt Grunt